Taking requests

I haven't posted here for some time, and I was musing that my musings are really not very enlightening to other people unless they happen to be curious about the thing that's on my mind on a given day. Accordingly, I posted a request for requests on my facebook page, and got back a couple of responses.

The most honorable runner-up for today's exposition was Mr. Steve House, the only man I ever hugged who slapped a peppermint out of his own mouth. Steve asks:

Steve House If a woman weighs more than a duck, is she really a witch?

Steve, I'm glad you asked. This is a common misconception - weight actually has nothing to do with it. Women are witches because they are the pure form of the genome, lacking the chromosomal anomaly which causes the growth of a penis, which steals vital blood flow from the brain. Having all their blood flow available for their brains, and none of that pesky left-brain activity which is also typically associated with men, they are capable of using the full power of their emotive and intuitive endowment.

But the overachiever award for most divergent questions in a single post goes to Mr. Tom Clark, another old friend from college. Tom asks:

Tom Clark Hmm... a couple of obvious ones: Why do navels collect lint, i.e. why do they even have a hobby they didn't tell you about, and also: Why are kitten farts cute, but dog farts awful? Evidently, inquiring minds wish to know. Expound, profusely....

Well, Tom, I think I can help. Let me take these in order.

First: "Why do navels collect lint?"
Tom, have you ever had Mushroom Syndrome? Imagine being your navel - kept covered up most of the time with nothing to look at but the insides of comfy T's and Polo's or the undersides of bedsheets (except for the occasional fortuitous extreme closeups with his counterpart), let out for a daily watering and the rare glimpse of sunshine? Then there's the mirror, where he hears what a sexy bitch he is. While it might be true, if it were you, so constantly covered and kept in the dark, would you believe it?

You would not. You would feel shunned and lied to, and would find whatever meager hobby you could that didn't involve asking for any help or an allowance. I'd wager, if you were to check at the right time, you'd find he also collects sweat, though it's trickier to keep. And after all, quality sweat is hard to come by.

As for your second question: "Why are kitten farts cute, but dog farts awful?"
You may be surprised to hear this, but it's actually a well established survival trait.

This is elementary logic. We love our family, but we are rarely thrilled to hear the foghorn that warns of impending methane. Cute little love-me farts are not necessary for them, because we already intend to keep them.

Cat's, on the other hand, are the world's single most successful and prolific household vermin. They need that little oh-isn't-fluffy-adorable factor to keep themselves out of our stewpots. Consider this: would a mouse fart not also be cute? Yet we exterminate them, because they hide, and do not share their farts with us. Do you not think a rat fart might be endearing as well?

Cats, however, have over the millenia indoctrinated us to be the gleeful recipients of their anal disdain. How many times have you seen a cat, purring under the loving administrations of their hypothetical "owner", back their upturned asses into that doting dupe's face? "Oh, it's love," the humans exclaim, and the cat merely waves its smug little clay-clumped rump at us and struts away, secure in the knowledge that we are waiting for it to fart on us.

How tech is too tech?

I love sci-fi. Frank Herbert, Isaac Asimov, Arthur C Clark, CJ Cherryh - I was to be them when I grow up. I want to create plausable worlds evolved from our own that a reader can enjoy imagining, but with their underlying structure based in genuine science.

Who wants to read pages about interstellar traffic control besides me? It's an interesting problem, but not a thing many care about. Am I wrong?

I find an FTL dogfight fascinating - so many basic things you couldn't do, like see. In my universe, space-warping drives  too close will wormhole and both go boom. One behind the other will lose effect till far enough from the one ahead.

Mail as the only interstellar communication makes the universe ripe for frontier-folk, for colonies of adventurous pioneers, separatists and crackpots. Chemical propellant is still the most common weapon tech, but railguns and lasers and particle accelerators are only the tip of the alternative iceberg. Modifications of ion and plasma rockets as weapons are very appealing, and though a laser sword is not possible, a supercharged monowire held tight by localized field acts a lot like a George Lucas "light saber".

The problem is that the more removed from the reader's daily routine, the more those details have to be drawn out to make the scene accurate, but if the morning toothbrushing machine is just the way things are done, you don't want to dwell on things that are commonplace to the characters. If they all breathe water, the sign language they use to communicate when their vocal cords are flooded should be automatic to them, but clear to the reader.

How much is too much? Imagine an armor suit with hydraulic muscles, with pressure sensors so the harder you push, the harder it pushes. Where are the elbows in a suit with ten-foot arms when your own arm is only three feet? Is the pilot's arm even in the suit arm, or does the larger arm just mimic it?

Every variation is out there, and showing them can be fun, but the details will bore readers who don't care. Is it better to skip the minutiae that make the setting, or skip the readers who hate such details? Best is a story where details fit and don't bog it down, but that's not always possible.

Do you like sci-fi? If so, is the tech just props, or is it an enjoyable part of the story? World-building detail should be as innocuous as weather. Do you like a story with more than a passing mention of sun or rain? I love weather references that build mood and make the setting real to me. Tech references should be the same, don't you think?

NaNoWriMo 2011

Well, it's finally over.  Technically there are a few hours yet, but I finished last night, and have enjoyed the respite. ydbxmhc | National Novel Writing Month

CloudWalker is officially sleeping. NaNo's first draft is done at just over 50k words, and I'm reasonably proud of it. It needs subthread development, POV polish, stylistic revision and lots of editing, but that's stuff for the rewrite, which I won't be doing for a month or three. When I do, I expect the overall story to morph considerably, and the eventual word count to almost double.

Work is still hammering, but I've found I can still get in a couple thousand words a day if I make it a priority. My online gaming has suffered, but not as much as you might think. My twitter posts and blogging habits took a bigger hit. I hope to work them back into my schedule.

In the meantime, my wife has pointed out that this blog, while perhaps of interest to other aspiring writers, is really not very practical. I agree.

I'll be trying to come up with a new format. I have some ideas.

How the (pro)Creative Urge Changes Friendships

Creation changes your life. That holds true whether you create a book or a baby. Any new parent can tell you that having a baby means a major change in lifestyle, and that includes a change in friendships. Ditto the decision to take writing seriously.

This isn't to say parents and writers always lose old friends. It's just that your friendships will change and some will fall away. That's because most childless friends, like non-writer friends, just don't get it.

Consider a couple's first foray into parenthood. Priorities shift and resources become more scarce. Some friends resent the intrusion on your friendship and feel left out when you turn down invitations in favor of baby appointments and cuddle sessions. Some are embarrassed by your breast feeding, diaper changing, sweat pants wearing persona. A few try to ignore the changes and continue to invite you to those impromptu parties - children excluded, of course. These are also the people who'll exhaust a few minutes' patience to listen to your tales of sleeplessness only to inform you that they understand, the pup they call a "fur baby" woke them an hour early to go potty.

A few relationships will grow stronger as all parties work to maintain a place in changing lifestyles and priorities. These are the lifelong friends. You'll also make new friends, the ones who understand when you stop speaking mid sentence to stop the two year old running off the playground or insist the little one let go of the cat's tail. They think nothing of that stain on your jeans from the diaper blowout that interrupts your lunch date, though they may offer a sympathetic laugh to make sure you're aware of it.

Making your writing a priority has the same effect. Once you make the decision to get serious, you step into another world. In true bohemian style, you skip a few functions to find time to write. Deadlines loom, either self imposed or generated by the prospect of actual payment for your labors. You become that oddball with the impossible dream, yet another of those people who are writing a book.

For non literary friends, you may be a bit of an embarrassment, especially if you talk about your work in progress in front of strangers. It's like breast feeding in public. It's passe to protest, but that doesn't mean they can't roll their eyes and exchange that look with others.

Once you find some form of success, they may still have the nerve to ask a small favor to find an agent for that book they always wanted to write.

Others listen, find patience and understanding deep within and encourage you to stay connected. After all, we can't do this in a vacuum, no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves otherwise. These are also the lifelong friends who'll probably stick and help us through the depression of rejection and the elation of acceptance.

Writer friends, like other parents, know your pain. They understand if you want to skip that movie because your vacation time is almost up and your deadline looms. They can talk WIPs, POV and MCs, not to mention subplots and pacing. When they are also positive champions of your work, like the old friends who cheer on your new writing efforts, they are worth more than any amount of gold.

Bottom line, don't give up on the old friendships, even as you make shiny new ones who can talk shop. Try to come out of your story and agent hunt long enough  to give them a buzz or drop them an email. Be the friend you want them to be. When a few drop by the way side because they can't see past the changes, remember the good times with fondness and wish them well.

After all, change is a part of life and relationships, the good, the bad, the past and the present. It all adds to your life experience, which can only add to your writing.

Making Time

A writer needs to write every day. I also prefer to blog once a day, and keep up with my Litopia posts, Facebook, and Twitter.

Notice that these have not all been happening lately. My day job has rudely interrupted; my family needs personal time, and as much as I love writing, they aren't going to pay for it. I do still try to get in a couple thousand words a day, though I don't always succeed.

So, accordingly, the time comes out of somewhere. Personally I need more than the normal requisite eight hours of snoozing time, so while some can come from that pool, it won't be much if I intend to maintain my health and creativity.  I've had to swear off coffee for a few days (again), as I was reaching nuclear toxicity.

So Facebook gets maybe a peek a day. Twitter maybe not even that, though I'd prefer to sit with my face in it around the clock. Obviously, this blog sometimes gets shorted.

Now here at the end of my vacation-period year I find I have too much unused time. I've arranged to carry over about a week, but the other week and half-day have to be used by 9/4. I took the half-day Tuesday and got some rest, and am taking this five Fridays.

I have so much to do around the house that I may still not get much writing done, but it's nice to think I'll get the chance.

Thanks for the Nose, Got One Already

Opinions are like noses -- we all gots one of our own.

I know you've heard it. You might even have done it yourself. Someone rides by with their music playing too loud, and a friend wonders aloud how anyone could listen to "that crap." Among my redneck friends, it's usually rap like Tupac or Will Smith. Among my black friends it's most often country, George Jones or Conway Twitty. My mom says this about Metallica and Scorpion. For my ex it was Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sisters.

Is anyone asking what this has to do with writing?

My wife doesn't care for the sort of high, hard sci-fi I love and want to write. I'm not so much into horror, her favorite. Neither is particularly partial to romance novels, though they seem to make up more than half the publishing market.

We've all caught ourselves belittling something that doesn't interest us personally. We're trying to get out of that habit, because everything has value, and something to teach us about our craft.

Ladies and gentlemen, negative commentary is not the way to support your writerly loved ones. Don't steer them away from their interests, don't try to correct their choices to a more profitable field, and don't, please don't try to convince them that vampires are hot right now and so they should write about that. If you are an author and are making more in dependable royalties than the aspiring writer, then maybe, maybe such advice might be warranted, but don't do it unless they ask, ok?

What they need is not patronizing or formulae. What they need is encouragement, honest but constructive critiques, support, honest but constructive critiques, proofreaders, honest but constructive critiques, editors, honest but constructive critiques, approval and patience and comfort, and lest I forget to mention it, honest but constructive critiques.

Perhaps you notice a theme here.

What your writing friends need is you to hold them up, not tell them all the reasons it won't work. If you do that, you should stop calling them your friends, because you aren't acting like one.

The other thing they need is actual, realistic, but gentle and CONSTRUCTIVE feedback. That means getting off your lazy high-horse and actually reading their work, which any writer with half a brain knows is a significant investment of your time and energy that they should appreciate. It means pointing out the spelling and grammar and punctuation errors, the complicated and awkward phrasing, logical inconsistencies, any clichés, and the dull scenes where they drag on about details that don't really matter.

If you don't have time and energy for all that, it's ok; just don't ask for a free copy of the book just because you're family. If you can and do give them such support, don't be surprised if they dedicate the book to you - but don't assume they will, because maybe they promised this one to Mom. :o)

And for the record, Sabrina suggested this post, who cannot abide country music or most romance.
Her idea.

OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY! CALL NOW!!!

I hate hard sell.

Ok, I'm as much a sucker for an interesting hook at the beginning of a book as the next guy, but...call me weird if you must...I don't want the whole book to be "exciting".

I like literary works. It doesn't get much better than Sojourner, Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings' final novel. Not much exciting happens, but the book is wonderful.  How can that be?

Yes, I do want something of interest in every chapter; in fact, on every page. It's just that "of interest" doesn't have to include explosions or cliffhangers or adolescent snits. Personally, I find really good writing to be plenty.

I hope someday to be able to write like that book. The work is subtle, but filled to the brim with anguish, joy, cruelty, insanity, loyalty, injustice, humility, and heroic sacrifice, all with no explosions.

In fact, most of the book takes place right on the single farm.  They plant orchards, and try to keep the sheep warm through the winter. The main character is a farmer who isn't very outspoken, but feeds his hogs, tills his fields, and daydreams a lot. He plays a flute. He marries the girl his older brother left behind, and they have kids. He has a buddy who's a drunk, and sometimes gypsies come set up on his property for a while. Wow! Are you excited yet?

I sat in the tub with my wife and read this book to her. We sat in the yard and read it. We read it in bed. We stopped now and then to savor the scenes, the language. We're going to use singed pages from an extra copy to decorate the house.

Then I pick up books where the writer throws me into a heated firefight, and I have to wonder why I care who wins. When it's over and I've figured out who the hero is supposed to be, there's a roaring car chase. Then a fistfight. Then the character must hide from the police, while the author narrates the deep personal relationship the character has with one of the officers by telling me "Bob had a deep personal relationship with one of the officers."

I'm sorry, but I don't want every scene in a book trying to tweak my adrenalin.  There must be pacing. There must be contrast. Too much becomes just the 7:15 train rattling my dishes, and eventually I don't even notice anymore.

What I want is an elegant turn of phrase that brings me up short and makes me realize what a character is feeling.

Pick up any of the classics. Open it at random to a few different pages. You'll likely hit some dialogue, some worldbuilding narrative, a tense scene of conflict. It's not always fever pitch.

You can't evoke real emotions in the reader until you get them to care about the characters. Ideally, a good book should hook the readers in the first page, and then reel them in as it progresses. If they aren't willing to read a few pages to develop a little rapport, then they are going to be limited to schlock.

So my job is to generate a good opening that doesn't read like a screaming infomercial, and follow it up with sympathy, depth and feeling.  That's a tall order.

Guess I'd better get back to writing.